Michael Jackson's children: I too lost my father suddenly from a heart attack when I was age 11. Lessons on Grief & Lost Childhoods

I am now thinking of Michael Jackson's CHILDREN...

I too lost my father (heart attack) and big sister (road crash) suddenly, within a week, when I was age 11.

I hear reports that MJ's children are said to be coping well.

But bereaved children may just appear to be calm and coping on the surface. Numerous studies show, that's just how they commonly deal with grief. Consequently adults just assume that they're OK.

Children can deny their own feelings as a survival mechanism, and for the sake of adults around them. But sadly, they can feel isolated and abandoned inside, and bottling up their feelings can create a real problem throughout life.

I for one, went numb at the time when I was 11, and tried to act all grown up, but the child's tears spilled out years later in a dramatic way, and after a life of workaholism! Childhood loss and the trauma of abandonment runs deep.

I trust MJ's children will get all the emotional support needed at this time and not suppress their feelings trying to be strong. Grief needs to be expressed sooner or later.

What they don't want is a "lost childhood", repeating their father's cycle.

The fact they're surrounded by a tight-nit loving family like I had can make all the difference.

I find it so heart-warming to hear MJ recorded an array of secret songs to look after them long term.

They may not have Michael Jackson around to hold their hand through life anymore, but they were undoubtedly, and still are, incredibly loved by their father, just like I was. Unconditionally. And it is this love that they can hold on to.

Resources on childhood bereavement:

*CHARITY: Winston's Wish (www.winstonswish.org.uk)

*BOOK: "Without You" Children and Young People Growing up with loss and its Effects" by Tamar Granot.

Copyright 2009. Myfanwy Marshall